:::Catherine Hickland Appreciation Site:::

Some people have all the luck. And at this particular moment in time, two of those people are newlyweds Michael E. Knight (Tad, All My children) and Catherine Hickland (Tess, Loving). But before you succumb to that nasty green-eyed monster called envy, remember that fortune is a fickle friend; both Knight and Hickland have known the back side of fortune's hand, in affairs of the heart and the vicissitudes of fame. Today, however, all the pain is in the past. Today is golden.

"Now, this isn't going to jinx our marriage is it?" asks Knight, referring to this interview and only half joking. "One thing I can't stand is seeing an interview with someone who’s saying how happy he is and the next thing you know it's all over and everyone is saying, 'Whatever happened to…?'" Silly superstition, I assure him. "Promise?" Promise. Interviews don't ruin relationships, people ruin relationships and if ever two people seemed committed to having a happy life together it's these two. Married in a fairy-tale-like wedding on June 27, 1992, the couple--without being cloying--still have that honeymoon glow. It's downright, well, inspiring.

So, after nearly a year as husband and wife, do they feel married life is what they expected? Hickland, a refreshingly warm and candid woman admits, "I didn't really know what to expect. Having done it before and not done it right, you really don't know what to expect." "She married the wrong Michael Knight," interjects her husband, referring to Hickland's former spouse, David Hasselhoff, who played the character Michael Knight on the TV series Knight Rider. "I did," agrees Hickland, good-naturedly, "I married the wrong Michael Knight. So not having any expectations except that I was marrying the person I was supposed to be with, it has exceeded my expectations."

Now it's Knight's turn, and he gives him in what he says is "the short form," but which he acknowledges is, in his case, never that short. Funny and charming, Knight is trying hard to overcome his aversion to talking about himself. "My marriage is great. I found someone who living with on a day-to-day basis makes me happy, makes me smile. Someone who has a better take on things than I do. When they say 'better half,' well, in some ways I really understand what that means. She has patience for my moodiness…she's the upbeat person in this relationship, the charmer. I'm sort of the quiet one. Except with my friends, of course, and then I'm like Auntie Mame!"

Hickland throws her husband an indulgent, loving glance as he continues. "When Catherine and I met (in Feburary 1991, at her birthday party; Knight came with a mutual friend), well, I had just come out of this disastrous six-year relationship. We were just getting together as friends…I mean there was an attraction there, for me anyway…but we were having coffee together before acting class and I did this 15-minute spiel about how I had come from this awful six-year relationship and, damn it, I was going to date! I was 'date man'! I was going to go out and set the world on fire and get my ya-ya's! And she just said, 'That's terrific, that's nice, that's wonderful to know, see you later.' And it was so funny because everything in my life is living proof that life is what happens to you when you're making other plans. Almost a year to the day later I proposed to her. So when people ask me what it was about her that made me finally decide to get married, I can only say I couldn't imagine not being married to her, which is why I am." That is the short version.

Hickland believes the way to tell you are in a good relationship, be it friendship or marriage, is when someone brings out the best in you. "You never really think about it until it happens," she says, "just like you never think 'Oh, this person is bringing out the worst in me.' You just know you're not happy; you're miserable. So when someone is making you happy and bringing out your best, your whole life changes. You realize, 'This is the way it's supposed to be.'"

Knight agrees. He says that there has been a major change in him, that all his friends say he's so much happier and calmer, "as well as heavier," he laughs, referring to the pounds he packed on from his wife's cooking (he has since lost much of the extra weight). "I wake up in the morning and see Catherine smiling. And when I come home, she's there smiling."

"I greet him at the door with my tail wagging," smiles Hickland, "It's nice to have a crush on your wife," he responds. "And I have a crush on my husband," she says. This is real, folks, not a soap! Some people do have all the luck.

Hickland says that one of the biggest personal transformations that has happened since her marriage is a greater commitment to facing her true feelings. "I ran away from things before. I would be much more likely to work something out now that went wrong. Before, I would rather have just stayed in a situation that wasn't right. I was kind of a phony because I was walking around saying how everything was OK, even in interviews. And inside I was dying. I would never do that today. If I was unhappy I wouldn't pretend," she states. "I've changed a lot."

Knight adds that one of the biggest changes in his life is that he doesn't worry about his insecurities all the time. Being Tad the Cad, the superstud of daytime, wasn't easy for Knight to accept. "I used to joke that in college I had to beg for sex and here I was, walking into a role and having to play this 'come on, baby,' sleeping-with-everything-that-moved kind of guy. And it caused a tremendous amount of insecurity. I remember this early personal appearance I made with Vincent Irizarry (ex-Lujack, Guiding Light; now Nick), Steve Bond (ex-Jimmy Lee Holt, General Hospital; Mack Blake, Santa Barbara), Jon Hensley and Brian Bloom (Holden and ex-Dustin Donovan, As The World Turns). The women went bananas. I kept thinking 'I'm out here with some of the best looking guys I've ever seen and here I am, Tad, with a name like a snack. What am I doing here?' That's part of the reason that Tad became funny, because I didn't feel comfortable with that sex symbol image. I didn't feel that's what I had to offer; so the part of me that uses humor as a protective device took over. If I can get you to laugh with me, I can get you on my side."

"The difference now, with Catherine," he explains, "is that I don’t worry about it so much. I realize it's OK to screw up. It's OK not to be perfect. The most wonderful thing is this terrific woman who loves me for who I am. She's so grounded, and she's made me realize that everybody's a screw-up sometime and who says you have to be perfect? Being perfect is kind of boring and being a screw-up is generally more fun. So I've learned to have a little faith about life. I just say, "Hey, I'm in a rowboat on God's river and I do the rowing and he steers. I'm just rowing as well as I can.' She's brought this to me by example. She's someone who is much calmer than I am, and…am I talking too much, honey? You're chewing on your fingers," he says to his wife.

"No, no, no," Hickland assures him. "I was just listening to what you were saying, and I was thinking since I think he's the best-looking man in the world and the most talented man in the world…" "That's off the record," interrupts Knight, embarrassed by such praise. No, it's not, I say. "Yes it is," he argues, but not he's smiling.

"This is what I think," she says, "and I say it to him all the time. I have said to waitresses, 'Isn't he the most incredible-looking man you've ever seen?'" "It embarrasses the hell out of me," he mutters. "I do embarrass him," Hickland admits, "but, you know, it sinks in. And that's why I think he's not as insecure as he used to be. He's starting to believe it."

Knight is forced to agree, but he qualifies it, "It's not that I start to believe it. I still don't believe it, I think it is absolute crap." Jeez, this guy can really take a compliment. "But what it is is affirmation. It's unsolicited and it's someone saying, 'You're special and I love you.' I get that. It's the healthiest side of my marriage, because from her it's just a natural thing and she never forgets to do it. I don't know that it's a conscious decision, I don't know whether she thinks, "I'm going to do this for this person because I love the man and it's important.' Or she's just a very, very giving person and she does it naturally. But she's absolutely right," he finally gives in, "it sinks in."

Vincent Irizarry is a longtime mutual friend of the couple, having known them both independently (he and Knight first met on that aforementioned public appearance) before they became a couple. He agrees completely that marriage becomes them. "Oh, yes, I see a definite change in Michael. If anybody could help Michael in a positive way," Irizarry laughs, "it's Catherine. She has so much positive energy. Michael would be the first to say that she's shown him how to be more grateful for what he has and not always look at what he doesn't have. He's really learning from her example. He seems so much more content."

Irizarry met Hickland when she was still married to Hasselhoff, and he says he knows from experience that divorce can be a humbling experience (he is divorced from Signy Coleman). "It forces you to really look at yourself and examine the things that brought you to the decisions you've made. She went through a tough time, but she's so happy now. They're such a wonderful couple; they're very supportive of one another and very giving. They give each other a lot of room to explore their individual interests, and at the same time they can't get enough of each other. It's a lot of fun to be around them and I spend a lot of time with them. Sometimes when I go over to their place I feel down, but I leave feeling up. They're both giving out such positive energy. Now if only Michael would stop watching so much TV," adds Irizarry tantalizingly.

Please elaborate, I insist. Irizarry laughs, "Michael is so funny. Tom Eplin (Jake, Another World told me that he and his wife, Courtney, went over for dinner and Michael did what he always does: He excused himself for a minute and didn't come back. When that happens you walk back to the bedroom and there's Michael on the bed watching reruns of All in the Family! he laughs. "I usually end up taking off my shoes and watching with him." The good news is Hickland is just at much of a TV addict, and "they watch everything together," says Irizarry, "every bad TV-movie ever made. It cracks me up." Ah, the glamorous life of soap stars.

And speaking of soaps, the Hickland/Knights have become a two-soap family, Hickland having recently won the role of Tess Wilder on Loving. How this might alter their relationship is anybody's guess, but for one thing, says Hickland, "I'll get to see my husband more often! If he wants to see me I'll be right across the hall (the Loving and AMC studios are in the same building)." Hickland's job was not part of her husband's deal to return to AMC, as cynics have suggested. She auditioned like anybody else and won the role by virtue of her talent, not her marital status. She prepared prodigiously for the screen test, and didn't sleep for four nights after the test waiting to hear if she got the part. "They tortured me," she squeals. Tess was a role she coveted.

"She's a complex character," Hickland explains. "She has been deeply hurt and scarred. She's incapable of loving somebody else; she's someone who only knows how to get what she wants and needs by manipulating others. I'm sure, down the line, there will be a metamorphosis. I think it's going to be incredible to play." That metamorphosis will likely come from the love of a good man, namely Trucker, played by Robert Tyler, who Hickland says was so wonderful in their screen test: "I felt chemistry right away." No doubt ABC is hoping the audience will feel that chemistry, too. Knight is thrilled for his wife and proud of her, and swears he isn't worried that she'll be working with "one of the nicest and best-looking guys on daytime. The Gary Cooper of television," he calls Tyler.

Things couldn't be better for the couple. They’re young, talented, beautiful, employed, and last, but certainly not least, they're very much in love. But before all this bliss there were hard times, for Hickland in particular, and she is every mindful of that fact. The year was 1987. "My father died, I lost my job (Capitol was canceled), I got divorced and I had to move--all in one fell swoop. I remember thinking, 'If I ever get through this, I'll be able to get through anything.'"

She survived, partly by moving to Italy for two years and immersing herself in the language and culture, partly through an ironclad will. She returned to Los Angeles strong and whole, met Knight and a little less than a year and a half later they were married. "When we got married…" she says with great feeling, "I mean, I love him so much, I would be devastated if something happened to this marriage. But I also know I would be OK, because I can only be in control of myself. I can't control outside elements or what Michael thinks or what he does. So all you can do is hope that you’re going to make it…you really hope for that."

SIDEBAR
A Wedding in Paradise

When Michael met Cathy, marriage was the last thing on his mind. He was determined to play the field and fend off romantic entanglements. Almost a year to the day from that first meeting, he proposed and she accepted. So much for determination.

On June 27, 1992, Michael E. Knight and Catherine Hickland were married in a romantic ceremony in a breathtaking setting overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The bride-to-be did everything herself in just three months, her only request to the groom-to-be was that he get his own tux. The day was glorious and the wedding, well, perfection. But according to Hickland, the bad timing of a waiter more than a year in the past almost derailed the whole relationship.

Here's the story. "We were sitting once again over our 300th breakfast or lunch or dinner as friends," Hickland recalls, "and by this time we had developed this crush on each other but I was fighting it because I knew he didn't want to get involved. And he said, "You know, I have to say this. I'm interested in you on more than a friendship basis and I think we should date. What do you think?' And just then the waiter walked up to the table and I said, "I think I'll have a No. 37 with cheese.' He was so mad at me he didn't speak to me for three days."

Obviously they made up, but it was during the three days they were deprived of each other's company that they really realized the depth of their feelings for one another. Hickland says she never had a moment's doubt that marrying Knight was the right thing to do. "I was so busy planning a wedding, I didn't have time to worry about that. I didn't have time to worry about that. I didn't go into shock until the day after and I realized we were married."